What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 07:44
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I will be 64.
Why does my sister want to have sex with me? What should I do?
Who then, do I blame.?
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Does the Hamas charter specifically call for the death of all Jews and the destruction of Israel?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
What should you answer when someone says to you in French, "au plaisir de vous revoir"?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
What are some signs that a therapist may have poor boundaries with their clients?
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
One cannot live in the past .
How do I develop the patience to read books?
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Which type of physical cable has fastest transmission speed?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Has anyone ever really waited that long and gotten a paper check mailed 20 days ago?
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She wouldn,t have been !
Why do many Hong Kong Chinese look different from the Han Chinese in mainland China?
What did i know ?
And who doesn’t know suffering?
But, we were locked up after school.
Would the word literate carry the same meaning with public (common wealth) in 1900 vs today 2020?
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
We all went to grammer schools
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Do older men realize that younger women usually do not prefer them?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
What is the degree of influence of Saudi Wahhabism on the modern Muslim world?
All the time i was locked up.
I couldn’t, believe it.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
So whats the point in blame.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Why do people still think Michael Jackson was guilty?
Im still living with it.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
My life is so biszare .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
We were not on the streets..
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
It was going to be , some day.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
He knew the spot.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
As i do to all so called friends.?
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
She was in good health!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
When she asked me how she looked .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
But ive been too sick for many years..
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But it wasn’t much.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I never cut or harmed myself..
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Put me off passion for life!!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I write beautiful poetry .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
She married twice! .
On the 31st of Jan this month .
(And it was in our own minds.)
I was very sick at this time too.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Would this be the day?
My family never makes their pension either.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Comes on , in middle age.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
And i lived it daily.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I waited trembling.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
This is soul school!.
So, i spoilt her more .
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I was 9 years of age.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
She found it foreign!.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Ive learnt so much.
I have no regrets .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I was seconnd youngest,
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I was scared of men, in general
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
She loved him until the end.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I said to her
Especially a lifetime of it.
He resisted the act ,that day.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I could never make a relationship work though!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I don,t even have a pension.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I think the readers, may guess!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers